That's what it has been... 1 year. I began a life changing journey, one that would provide me my health and happiness back. This life changing journey took a great deal of sacrifice hard work, determination and frustration. Standing on that cliff, one year ago, I could have never imagined that I would be looking back a year later and be where I am.
November 13 2011 was the first day of my own weight loss and fitness journey. As I have written in my blog before, that morning when I woke up was the absolute lowest point in my life. I hated myself, I hated what I had become and hated that I allowed myself to become this way. Seeing myself in the mirror was painful. Going to the store to purchase clothing caused tears. Having "skinny" friends caused horrible envy. I saw a picture of myself on a girls weekend away and I cried... and cried hard!
The journey started slowly, focusing on food, portion sizes and learning how I should be eating. The Lose It! app has been the absolutely best thing for me during this year. I have recommended this app to so many people and all of them have had success using it as well. But learning how to eat is important. Whether you use an app like Lose It! or do a program like Weight Watchers, really the end result is just the same, limiting your calories and retraining yourself to eat right and eat in the right amount (portion control). I never realized just how much food I was eating when I was 274lbs, but it was a hell of a lot of food. It was nothing for me to start my day with a full sized bagel with cream cheese or peanut butter and banana. A mid morning snack, which was always garbage. Onto lunch and I would eat leftovers from the night before. And the leftovers wouldn't be just a small portion, it would be a full sized meal. Along with pudding, yogurt, a cookie or 2 and soda. I would then move onto a mid afternoon snack, again either being chips, a cookie or something else just loaded with calories. Dinner was upon me and it was always something quick and not that healthy. Often I would stop for fast food (Big Mac meal large sized) or if I cooked it could be chicken Parmesan with spaghetti (processed chicken patty - 2 of them, loaded with cheese and probably 3 servings of spaghetti). And I still wasn't done because I would need a snack at night before bed. So yeah... too many calories, too much garbage, and not enough of the food that fuels you.
The biggest part of my last year has been the exercise. After 6 weeks of focusing on food and the choices that I needed to make, I decided to incorporate exercise into my daily routine. I knew the importance of exercise, as it strengthens the heart, burns fat, and finally, builds lean muscle that will help burn more fat. I joined my local YMCA and promised myself that I would get to the gym 7 days a week until I was under 200lbs. And that is exactly what I did. I started to use the elliptical and in my mind I figured that I would do 30-45 minutes when I first started. Laughable! I couldn't even do 15 minutes without being completely out of breath. But I continued on. Continued to go every day and gradually I was able to build up to 65 minutes. That 65 minutes would net me 800-900 calories burned. That was a high like none other. Knowing that I was able to take off those calories each day was fueling me to continue. I met a new friend at the gym and she suggested running. I laughed really hard when she suggested it, but then I figured why not give it a shot. And I did... and I am glad that I did. I am addicted to running and the clarity that running provides my mind. It is amazing how great I feel after I have run 3, 4 or more miles. Running has provided me a challenge that I didn't think existed. 5K and 10K done, and now I am moving onto a half marathon. EXCITING!!!!! And to think this has only allowed me to make my body healthier each time that I do it.
1 year later, I have found happiness. I have found who I am. I have learned that my self worth is not the number on the scale. I understand that my body is a gift and I have to take care of it. As of today I am down 100.8lbs. With only another 5-9 pounds to take off, I know that the finish line is in my grasp. I have learned that hard work and determination can carry you a long way. I have learned that there are people out there who will cheer you on (because they unconditionally love you) and there are those people out there that will want to pull you down even though you are doing something good. I have learned that I can tell my story to 100 overweight people and if they aren't ready to receive the message of health that it is a wasted story. I have learned that I can be a positive role model for my daughters and teach them the way to live so that they will not struggle like I have all of my life. I ave learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I have learned that there are people who you don't know that hear your story and find it in themselves to take their own lives back. I have learned that even though you do something for yourself, and never intend for that to change, that you can inspire others. I understand that even if I have a bad day, or week, that life will go on and that it is my responsibility to pick myself up again and get on track. I have learned that people come and people go and only those that stood by you in your darkest hour are those that truly have your back. And finally... I have learned that I am a blessed individual who has a lot to be thankful for regarding the last year.
Yes, 1 year. That makes me a toddler in the world of weight loss. I don't claim to know all the answers or understand everything there is to know about health and nutrition. What I do know is that I have personally come a long way and that this journey will never be over. It is important for me to remember that even after I finally hit my goal weight that I will be forever counting calories and exercising. The way that I approach things will change, but good nutritional habits and proper exercise are now who I am.
Thank you everyone for your unwavering support. I really cannot say thank you enough to so many people who have been there for me. I always say that I am a truly blessed individual to have the support system that I have and to have my friends and family standing behind me cheering me on.
