What is wrong with people today?

This morning as I was reading the news online, I came across a story of a father from Texas, who is accused of kidnapping and drowning his 2 sons - ages 5 and 3.  Yesterday I read a story of a man, from Louisiana, who is accused of killing his 7 year old disabled son and then dismembering the body.  If that wasn't enough, the police report that he left the head of the boy out by the curb so that the mother would see it when she drove by.  So reading all this horrible stuff in the news had me thinking... What's wrong with people today?

I guess when I ask that question I must qualify that statement by saying that I am not speaking about EVERYONE!  There are many good people in the world, just ask me as I have found so many of them in my own life.  Those that are there for you no matter what, help you in your times of need, lend an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on if you find yourself in that position, or even those who are many miles away and you know that they are still there for you.  I am glad that those people are in my life.  I am grateful for help I have received, the support that has been given, the talks that they have listened and provided advice, and picking me up when I am at my lowest. 

It is just disturbing to me to read of 2 men, in the last week, who have been accused of killing their own children.  What is wrong with these men that they could take the lives of the innocent children they had?  I know that there are marital issues, domestic issues, health issues and money issues, but being the mother of 2 beautiful girls I cannot understand what drives a person to do this type of heinous crime!  Watching my daughters become the women that God created them to be is so rewarding.  The highs and lows are all part of being a parent.  The 7 year old disabled boy didn't ask to be born with cerebral palsy and a heart condition, but that is what he was given in life.  As a parent you have to love that child unconditionally and support his needs.  And before anyone asks, I do not have a child with any sort of disability so I do not know what that man was going through with his care.  I do know, however, that murdering your child is not the answer! 

I just don't understand how anyone can kill a person, let alone take the life of their own child.  An innocent, unconditional loving child.  I read these 2 particular stories and my stomach turns, my heart breaks and I find myself with tears in my eyes (yes all the cliches are out now).  These beautiful children who did not have a chance to live out their lives, fall in love with the person of their dreams and make their parents proud with the decisions that they make in life.  Children are our future and it is not the job of a parent to snuff out their life when things are bad for us in our adult lives. Love your children folks, let them live their lives to the fullest and become more than you can imagine. 

In both situations the mothers are left behind to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.  Coming to terms with the fact that their child has been murdered and the accused murderer is someone that the child looked up to.  I can't possibly imagine the pain that these women are going through and only hope that they find the comfort that one needs to get through this.  I pray that individuals who are in difficult situations will seek the help that they need and work through the problems that they have and turn to your child for laughter and not murder.

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see".  -John W. Whitehead

What's wrong with the negative?

As a mom, I really try to promote the positive that my daughters do each day.  Whether it is school, their sports, musical talents or attempting something for the first time, I always try to find something that they did right and tell them how proud that makes me of their accomplishments.  However, I have to say that there are times when I think it is appropriate to tell them what they have done wrong and how they can do it better. 

So this post was sparked from the teacher who was suspended earlier this year because she wrote some comments that she would like to put on her student's report cards.  I am not going to write out what those comments were, as I don't necessarily think it is important to this discussion what she wrote.  It got me to thinking though... my own daughters' report cards have cookie cutter comments that do not really tell me much about ways for my child to do better.  Everything is so "colorful rainbows and fluffy white clouds" when it comes to the comments on the report cards.  Thinking back to my own report card, I remember reading comments like "does well in school, but is a bit of a social butterfly" or "quite a jokester in class".  Not all that bad, but it pointed out my flaws.  The flaws that needed to be pointed out. 

How do we expect to be better at something if all we are told is the positive?  Part of learning and growing is accepting that we are not perfect and working towards being better at whatever we are doing.  If my child keeps reading that she's "a model student" or that she "has a great understanding of the curriculum" what does she have to strive for?  As my child's parent, I know my kid isn't perfect and I accept that it is the job of the educators she comes in contact with, the coaches that she plays for, and me as her parent, to teach her how she can be better at whatever it is she is trying.  I am not saying that you need to "beat' down" a child and ruin their self esteem, but it is important to present improvements on how they can be better.  For me, I think that society has become so washed down with positive parenting that we have lost the ability to truly parent our children and teach them how to be better.  A child has nothing to work towards if they are already perfect!

I think we need to go back to a time when children understood that they had things to work on.  A time when coaches could coach a kid and not be scared of the parents reaction.  A time when a dance teacher could point out a flaw and the child and parent respect that correction.  A time when teachers could call your child a "social butterfly" in the comments on their report card and no one was brought up before the school board.  A time when our children learned from the mistakes that they made.

"Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can’t accept your imperfections, that’s their fault."