Time to be honest...

19 weeks ago I began a journey... a journey to make my health better, feel better about myself and be a positive role model for my daughters.  A lot has changed in the last 19 weeks, including the loss of 55lbs, my daily workout habits and making myself a priority in life.  


19 weeks ago I was scared, and more so embarrassed, to tell anyone what my weight was.  Stepping on that scale on November 13th and seeing the number that I did was an eye opener to me.  I have shared my experience while on this journey, but I have never opened up about what I weighed that day.  I will today...


274lbs is what I started my journey at.  I was morbidly obese.  I was killing myself with inactivity and unhealthy food choices.  I was killing myself with overeating and emotional eating.  I had watched myself blossom to 274lbs and never once gave it a thought.  Until November 13th.  I set a goal at that point that I wanted to lose 110lbs, allowing me to get back to 164lbs.  This is a far reaching dream, but one that I really want to work towards.  As you know, I have set smaller 25lb goals and have reached 2 of them thus far.  


Today's weigh in brought me to the halfway point of my journey.  I have lost 55lbs thus far.  That makes me a total of 219lbs.  This is the smallest I have been in far too many years to discuss.  I have 19lbs left until I get out of the 200s.  That is my goal at this point.  I would like to be down 19.2lbs by June 25, 2012... my 40th birthday.  This has always been the goal from the very beginning (being under 200lbs by my 40th birthday).  This gives me exactly 13 weeks to take off the 19.2lbs.  Breaking it down even further... 1.48lbs per week.  I know that I am close to hitting that point where my "big" losses are over, but looking at that 1.48lbs per week (and the littel over confident Sam in my head), I know that I can achieve this goal.  Hard work and determination will lead me there.


So there it is, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I actually feel so much better telling everyone what my starting weight was.  I feel relieved to know that even though I weighed what I did, that I have taken 55lbs off thus far.  I know that there are many judgmental people in the world, trust me I have seen the looks, the sneers and the hurtful comments.  That's what prevented me from saying what I weighed in the beginning... fear of being judged further.  But I have learned over the last 19 weeks to love myself, believe in myself, push myself and most of all not care what others think of how I look.  There is more to me than appearance and if you don't take the time to know who I am and what I am about, well then, shame on you.