Another minor milestone...

As you are all aware of, I am doing a C25K program.  Today was Week 5 Day 3 of the 8 week program.  I have survived thus far, but each run gets harder and harder.  As I expressed earlier in the week, today was a BIG day for me… a 20 minute straight jog without walking at all.

I started the morning with a 10 minute brisk walk to warm myself up.  Then I hit the start button the C25K program (no turning back).  The program had me walking an additional 5 minutes to warm up.  I figured that I would kick up the speed just a bit for these 5 minutes to really get my body all warmed up.  At the end of that 5 minutes the little prompt to me to begin jogging.  And so I did…

I decided that I would focus on the local news that I set on the TV in front of me.  That lasted all of 2 minutes and I found myself looking at the time.  18:29 left to go…

I moved my attention to the music that I was listening too.  Taylor Hicks (who is my obsession in life… yeah go ahead and laugh, I’m use to it) was the selection that was on and I focused all of my attention on him.  I kept thinking that he overcame so much the season that he won American Idol (the old jokes because of his hair color, being quirky and no one understanding his style, the must that he has a passion for, etc).  I told myself that if he could overcome those major adversities in his life to win American Idol, that I could overcome any adversities in my own life that would prevent me from jogging 20 straight minutes.  This distracted my attention for a bit… I looked at the clock and I still had 13:44 left.  Oh my goodness!

I glance at the TV again and they are talking weather.  OK great, maybe this will distract me from looking at the time.  I watch the entire forecast, finding out that the next 7 days are going to be absolutely beautiful, and then look down again at the clock… 12:33 left.

OK, so I must focus.  Focus on anything but the time.  I start looking at the calories that I am burning and I feel better.  This allows me to not think of the time that seems to be slowly ticking away.  While staring at the calories the prompt on the C25K program speaks, she says “You are half way there”.  This means I have reached the 10 minute mark!

Regroup my focus and now Fantasy by Earth, Wind and Fire is on.  Being a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan, this song has meaning because it is one of the songs that Hines Ward danced to when he was on Dancing with the Stars.  I then begin to think again, that if Hines can do it so can I.  Song ends and I look down at the time 6:45 left to go.  I realize (not as if the prompt shouldn’t have clued me in) that I really am over half way there.

Back to watching TV and trust me when I say that I am not feeling bad at this point, but my mind starts to play tricks on me.  My mind started telling me that I couldn’t finish.  That I needed to walk.  That it was important for me to give up.  That negative Sam came out in full force.  I IGNORED that voice and then I started to repeat to myself something that I tell my daughters all the time… “Suck it up and deal with it”!  Look down and I am at 4:33 left.

Oh my goodness… under 5 minutes left.  I know that I can do it!  I look around the gym.  I then turn back to the TV.  Ignore the little negative Sam.  Listening to “I’m Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO.  The next thing I know is the voice prompt in the program says “1 minute to go”.  YES… 1 minute!

The last minute flies by and the next thing I know, I am in cool down mode of the program and in total disbelief that I actually jogged for 20 minutes straight.  I felt great, no aches, no pains and no labored breathing.  I actually felt good.

So I learned that I can push myself further than expected.  I also learned that the negative Sam is still around and that I have to occasionally ”beat her down”.  I guess listening to the negative all my life got me into the position that I am and now it is time to squash that negative talk and replace it with accomplishments!

Happy Friday everyone.  I sure hope you all have a blessed weekend 

Perfect... negative self talk

This past week I began working out.  I joined a gym (the local YMCA) and set a goal for myself of going to the gym to work out at least 3 days each week.  I think it is important for me to be realistic (3 days a week) but also serious about getting myself healthier and continuing on this weight loss journey.  Going to the gym has actually turned into something that I enjoy and over the first week I made it there 6 days.  Now 2 of those days were shortened days (only 40 minutes to spare) but I am still excited that I made it there!  

So while I complete my "workout" I listen to music on my iPhone.  While listening the other day the song F***** Perfect (or the cleaned up version is called Perfect) by Pink came on.  I really started to listen to the words and it was an eye opening experience.  The song talks about negative self talk and the view that you should have of yourself.  The song was talking about me!  There have been so many times that I negative talk myself (your thighs are so disgusting, your butt is huge, you won't ever lose the weight, people stare at you because you are so huge, etc.).  This negative self talk has allowed me to stay in the same path for as long as I have.  You see it's easier to stay the same and listen to that inner negative voice than it is to make the necessary changes and stop listening to the inner you.  

But like I said, the song also reminds you that you need to stop all the negative and begin to believe in yourself.  That isn't an easy thing to do, especially when you have been listening to the negative for 30+ years, but it is very important in order to make the necessary changes that need to be made.  So I am trying each day to find one thing that I can be positive about regarding myself.  Whether its a good hair day, or the color of my eyes, or the fact that I did 60 minutes on the elliptical machine, I am finding those positives and focusing on them.  

One final thing that has really helped me to remain so focused and positive about what I am accomplishing is the impact that I see my journey making on others.  So many people have reached out to me to encourage me along in my journey or to tell me that they are making changes in their own lives because of what I have done.  This is a huge boost to my confidence and also makes me feel wonderful about the blog and posting everything on Facebook.  It is hard for me to admit that I am extremely overweight (and yes I know that's pretty darn obvious) but knowing that someone or anyone has read this blog or my posts and they want to make changes is amazing and encouraging to me.  So thank you to everyone for your continued support.   Thank you for helping me to get rid of the negative voices and replacing them with the positives.