Being and overweight woman (and this isn't a generalization about all overweight woman but just an observation about me), I am in the habit of eating my troubles and stresses away. Have a bad day at work... nothing a few brownies or a gigantic ice cream sundae can't fix. Having some difficulty with a teenager who is pushing every one of your buttons and then some... certainly a big bag of salty potato chips and a 2 liter of regular soda can't fix. Did you just get some bad news and you aren't sure what it will mean for you... oh the perfect compliment to this is a big juicy cheeseburger large value meal.
So as life has thrown curve balls my way I have learned over my lifetime that food was the comfort to run too. This comfort has caused me to be in the situation that I am currently (that and just plan overeating). It is definitely hard to change a behavior that has been ingrained in your head for 30+ years. A behavior that has always "made you feel better". A behavior that "takes away the pain".
In the past 2 weeks I have had many curve balls thrown my way. First it was hearing news at work that wasn't very appeasing to me and went completely against what I was told about 1 month ago. Then it was the untimely death of my husband's younger cousin who lives 400 miles away from us. There was the surgery of a dear elderly family member. My daughter telling us that she needs x, y and z for volleyball and then in the same breathe telling us that she needs $139 for her class field trip. Stress, these past 2 weeks, has been my middle name.
This time however, I did not turn to food. I turned instead to exercise. The first bout came with the work stress. After leaving work I called my husband in tears on the phone. I was angry and i needed to vent. By the time I got home from work, I was not only angry, but I was starving. I cooked dinner and eat the portion that I would have eaten if I wasn't in the foul mood I was in. I then asked my 13 year old if she wanted to go to the gym and, with her by my side, off we went. 1 hour and 45 minutes later we returned home and I felt WONDERFUL! It was amazing to not stuff my face but instead work off the frustrations that I had. It was great to burn off over 850 calories. It was great to feel good after taking out my frustrations instead of feeling guilty that I had just eaten a large combo meal.
The next few stressors allowed me to have the same reaction and thus confirm that I could eliminate the comfort foods and instead find a new way to deal with life's stresses. I worked out and felt better. Even while in Michigan for the family member's funeral, I took to the hotels fitness center and workout the stresses of being there. Honestly... I don't miss the food. I don't miss the guilt. I don't miss watching the scale increase after a night of binge eating.
I a certain that there will come a time in my weight loss journey that will cause me to binge eat due to stress. I am not perfect and know that thinking any other way would be foolish. As I am 9 weeks into this journey, what I do know is that I have found other ways to manage the stress. Other avenues to vent my frustration. The things that I learn are important to allow me, and others, life long success.
Thank you again to everyone that has shown their support to my journey. The outpouring of support for me through all of this has been amazing. I am truly blessed to know so many wonderful people who genuinely care about my success. Thank you does not quite express my feelings for each of you.
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